Navigating Life with POTS and Pans

Every second that we breathe is a gift, and we get to choose how to use that gift. It is so easy to grow comfortable and assume that we will get the chance to grow old.

My friend Anna recently died at the young age of 24. 24. She was a medical student at UVA and there was never a doubt in my mind that she would become a phenomenal, compassionate doctor. What made her death so shocking was that she was not sick, and she was not in a hospital– she simply died, quickly and painlessly as someone might expect of an elderly person with many years of life experience behind them. Anna only had 24 years behind her. But she lived these 24 years incredibly, packing more life into them than many do in a full lifetime. This really made me think about how I want to lead my life and how much I take for granted, down to never second guessing that I will wake up tomorrow.

I saw a quote once that spoke to this: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift- that’s why it’s called the present.

Anna’s death was a wake-up call, serving as a reminder of my own mortality and that of everyone else around me. The most important thing I learned is to never waste an opportunity to say I love you, to tell someone how much they mean to you. AND I MEAN IT, PLEASE TELL THOSE CLOSE TO YOU WHAT THEY MEAN TO YOU!

Life is hard. Chronic illness is hard. Amidst all this hardship, it is easy to want to numb out, scroll through your phone, binge TV, and escape from the world. But what if we didn’t? What if we felt these feelings, wrote them down, and talked about them so that instead of escaping, we could walk through them, allowing ourselves to become stronger, empathetic, and understanding people. This is something I am still working on because it is so easy to want to escape, but I’ve decided that I don’t want easy. I don’t want to escape the lows of being human. I want to experience the whole range of emotions so that I can understand the human condition, and better understand others when they experience something similar. I am definitely a work in progress, especially when it comes to this, so we can work in it together!

How do I make every moment count if I have a Chronic Illness?

You may be wondering: How do I make every moment count when I barely have enough energy as it is? I often feel like POTS drains me of all of my energy and that I need to just dissociate from the world for a little, but there is also something to be learned about prudence here and knowing what I really need. For starters: Maybe you need a snack, some water (and while you’re at it, add some Liquid IV), a nap, reading a good book, watching a wholesome Disney comfort movie (this is Tangled for me haha, although the Hannah Montana movie and Moana are tied for second 😉), calling a friend or family member, journaling about what you’re feeling, going for a drive, or just laying on your bed (or floor) and feeling all the feels (even if that feeling happens to feel like nothing at all).

For many people suffering with chronic illness life can seem like a twisted gift, because it can be filled with so much pain. But this pain is shaping our story, and though the story may be different from others’, it is educating us on the strength of the human spirit. Not everyone has the capability of understanding the lessons of suffering that have been learned in hospital beds, on the floors you can’t seem to leave, and in the background of your everyday life. You have a depth of experience that many will never be able to understand. And this experience gives you strength, it gives you character, and it gives you power to understand to a greater depth the struggles of those that will walk through your life.

Even with chronic illness, you can still form relationships, and I would argue that they can be even better than those of the average person, because it takes truly special people to stick around when you struggle daily with your health. At our core, we are who we love– we are our relationships with others. I encourage you to take a look at your relationships and reflect on who and how you love. Life is too short to love in halves, to spend energy on relationships that will not bring us joy, and to not fill our lives with things that make us happy! After all, we only have so much energy to give, especially when POTS seems to keep stealing it! I know that can be so hard, but living life to the fullest doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time, not at all. It simply means you have to make every moment count. And a great place to start is with your relationships!

If you are looking for more ways to bring authentic, POTS friendly joy into your life check out my post 70+ Ideas on How to Stay Positive with POTS! here! I’m also a firm believer in the power of a solo dance party which I talk more about here. Anytime I’m feeling numb and dead sometimes it’s just as simple as putting on a good song and feeling all the feels.

Have a great week and remember to always have grace for your selves and others!

❤ Ashley